Maybe two puppies, if you really want peace.
I’m not a feminist.”
Is basically shorthand for,
“I’m pretty sure Narnia is real.”
(Except people who believe in Narnia are harmless.) — asofterworld
Is basically shorthand for,
“I’m pretty sure Narnia is real.”
(Except people who believe in Narnia are harmless.) — asofterworld
I want you inside me,” would be a better way to sext if I knew who this was.
(Wait… mom?) — asofterworld 809
(Wait… mom?) — asofterworld 809
Missed Connection:
Everybody, everywhere.
I think I have spring fever.
(I… I think I like it.) — asofterworld 808
Everybody, everywhere.
I think I have spring fever.
(I… I think I like it.) — asofterworld 808
Happy anniversary. Turn the lights down low. Let’s get this over with.
(It’s your turn to pick the music.) — asofterworld 805
(It’s your turn to pick the music.) — asofterworld 805
I know you are out there right now, not knowing I exist, like a village on the slopes of the volcano of my heart.
(They will find a statue of you, holding someone else.) — asofterworld 806
(They will find a statue of you, holding someone else.) — asofterworld 806
When you smile at me my heart races.
I thought you were dead!
(Did you used to have so many teeth?) — asofterworld 807
I thought you were dead!
(Did you used to have so many teeth?) — asofterworld 807
The worst person you can think of gets scared sometimes too.
(Let’s use that against them.) — asofterworld 804
(Let’s use that against them.) — asofterworld 804
People who compare every petty evil to Hitler are worse than Dracula!
(You know an argument is over when someone brings up Dracula.) — asofterworld 803
(You know an argument is over when someone brings up Dracula.) — asofterworld 803
I tell the story of losing my virginity as a ghost story around campfires. I have emotional problems.
(the screaming and the vomiting help sell it.) — asofterworld 801
(the screaming and the vomiting help sell it.) — asofterworld 801
